Loopy Lou |

As I type this I have the heating turned up full blast, my fingerless gloves pulled on tight and a warming cup of Options chocolate steaming invitingly within easy reach. That pink jumper that I got from my mother at Christmas (with stripes that are so de rigeur, good choice mum!) is back on and I feel good! But the winter freeze that has gripped us for the last few weeks has made me realise, once again, how differently men and women view the challenges of life!

We girls are made of tough stuff, you see, and a bit, or a hell of a lot to be fair, of snow isn’t going to stop us going about our normal business. I mean, the January sales are still on - and a few tonnes of freezing snow aren’t going to keep me from Monsoon with 25% off!

Men don’t understand preparation - I think that’s what it comes down to. Before I go out I put about twenty layers on, at least two pairs of gloves and make sure the car is stocked up with at least ten bars of chocolate and a flask of something warm and sweet. The roads have been shocking but drive slowly and sensibly and you will get there, that’s my proven advice!

The guys on the other hand seems to see the icy conditions as some sort of rallying challenge. I saw two cars crash straight into the same wall within ten minutes of each other and both had been speeding along as if they were on a motorway on a bright Summer day. And as they climber out of the car both of them were effing and jeffing about the council and how they didn’t grit anymore - they had enough grit between their ears if you ask me!

And guys, stop thinking that you are an extra in Scott of The Antarctic when you step outside. My friend Katie tells me how her guy has taken to saying "I’m going out - I may be sometime" every time that he walks out of the door. He comes home two hours later with the smell of alcohol on his breath.

Oh and one last thing, have you noticed that snow men have started springing up on our streets? Well here is how to tell if they were made by a guy or a woman. A woman’s snowman is lovingly crafted, traditional, maybe it has a nice scarf around it’s neck (I made one last week and tied that yellow scarf that my ex bought me around the neck - it suited the snowman more than it did me). Men’s snowmen (or should I say snowpeople) come in two forms - either they are ’amusing’ snow women with outsize boobs or they have an extra carrot added in a very inappropriate position. And don’t get me started on the snow balls!

My chocolate drink is calling me! Here is the Lou tip on winter survival: Keep warm, keep safe and keep letting the man in your life know that his sole job is to give you warm hugs whenever you need one! And if all else fails, get that man to take you to some ski resorts to last out the snowy weather!

Have you ever noticed how the cold weather makes you hungrier?

Over the past few weeks it’s been freezing and I’ve got through masses of extra food. Well, that’s my excuse for being a pig anyway!

Seriously though, a lot of us do tend to eat far more when it’s cold. I wonder why that is? Maybe it’s because we all have a subconscious fear that suppliers won’t be able to keep the shops stocked with food. Or perhaps it is some instinctual thing where we automatically eat more so that we gain extra weight to keep us warm.

Weird, isn’t it? But I’m not the only one to experience it. Loads of people have said the same thing to me over the years. It seems that there are an awful lot of us that start troughing when it gets a bit chilly!

But it makes you wonder why the Eskimo people aren’t affected… All of the Inuit’s that I have seen are perfectly healthy looking people. Surely, if this cold/extra food theory is correct they should all be built like houses. Strange. Maybe, because they have built up a tolerance for the extreme conditions they are no longer affected by a need for larger amounts of grub. Or perhaps it is a simple matter of all of us in the West being weak in the elements and greedy in the supermarkets…

I’m just trying to remember what my eating habits are like in the summer. It seems so long ago since it was warm that I’m having a job remembering. But, from what I can recall, I do eat less when it is hot.

So, there we go. If we all want to lose weight then forget Smartlipo, and just carry on polluting! A hotter planet means that we will all eat less!

Who says I can’t come up with a useful idea now and then?

Back in the days of the Commodore 64 there was an amazing game called ‘Turrican’. It was enormously popular and received rave reviews from every magazine going. I used to play it for hours on end and completed it many times. Games just could not get any better than this… or so I thought.

When I heard about the imminent release of ‘Turrican II’ I was on the verge of exploding with excitement. I had to wait quite a few weeks until it hit the shops and I would spend ages drooling over any screenshots! When I finally did get hold of a copy, I could not believe how good it was. Everything about the first game had been amazing, but with the sequel the programmers had totally excelled themselves.

The graphics were far better and, at the time, they were truly ‘state of the art’. It was a gigantic game and everything about it was absolutely stunning. But one of the best things about it was the music… If you could have bought it on CD then I’d have been down to the record shop in an instant!

‘Turrican II’ is still one of the greatest games I have ever seen. The controls were so incredibly simple to use and it was an absolute joy to play. I could sit and spend the entire afternoon blasting my way through the levels and I very often did.

I think that one of the proudest moments of my life (as sad as this may sound), was when I achieved a massive score and got my name in print. At the time, ‘Zzap 64’ was the biggest selling magazine for the Commodore. In each month’s issue they would have a ‘High Scoring Heroes’ page and I came first on ‘Turrican II’! What a magical moment!

And I still have that same page stored away!