Loopy Lou |

As I type this I have the heating turned up full blast, my fingerless gloves pulled on tight and a warming cup of Options chocolate steaming invitingly within easy reach. That pink jumper that I got from my mother at Christmas (with stripes that are so de rigeur, good choice mum!) is back on and I feel good! But the winter freeze that has gripped us for the last few weeks has made me realise, once again, how differently men and women view the challenges of life!

We girls are made of tough stuff, you see, and a bit, or a hell of a lot to be fair, of snow isn’t going to stop us going about our normal business. I mean, the January sales are still on - and a few tonnes of freezing snow aren’t going to keep me from Monsoon with 25% off!

Men don’t understand preparation - I think that’s what it comes down to. Before I go out I put about twenty layers on, at least two pairs of gloves and make sure the car is stocked up with at least ten bars of chocolate and a flask of something warm and sweet. The roads have been shocking but drive slowly and sensibly and you will get there, that’s my proven advice!

The guys on the other hand seems to see the icy conditions as some sort of rallying challenge. I saw two cars crash straight into the same wall within ten minutes of each other and both had been speeding along as if they were on a motorway on a bright Summer day. And as they climber out of the car both of them were effing and jeffing about the council and how they didn’t grit anymore - they had enough grit between their ears if you ask me!

And guys, stop thinking that you are an extra in Scott of The Antarctic when you step outside. My friend Katie tells me how her guy has taken to saying "I’m going out - I may be sometime" every time that he walks out of the door. He comes home two hours later with the smell of alcohol on his breath.

Oh and one last thing, have you noticed that snow men have started springing up on our streets? Well here is how to tell if they were made by a guy or a woman. A woman’s snowman is lovingly crafted, traditional, maybe it has a nice scarf around it’s neck (I made one last week and tied that yellow scarf that my ex bought me around the neck - it suited the snowman more than it did me). Men’s snowmen (or should I say snowpeople) come in two forms - either they are ’amusing’ snow women with outsize boobs or they have an extra carrot added in a very inappropriate position. And don’t get me started on the snow balls!

My chocolate drink is calling me! Here is the Lou tip on winter survival: Keep warm, keep safe and keep letting the man in your life know that his sole job is to give you warm hugs whenever you need one! And if all else fails, get that man to take you to some ski resorts to last out the snowy weather!